I will not get sucked back in after one win.  I will not get sucked back in after one win.  I will not. . .oh, who the hell am I kidding?  Of course, I am going to get sucked back in.  I am a fan.  Short for fanatic.  When most people are thinking about boring shit like their kids, or their spouses, or their jobs, I am thinking about the Packers.  That's why I do this.  I am not here to prattle on like some pious Northwestern grad, celebrating objectivism in media.  NO.  I am a chubby bald dude who loves Green Bay, and, whose heart about did a cartwheel out of his throat when Crosby hit that game-winner on Sunday.  And, that's why you are here, too!  Tossing away your company's valuable time like elementary school's throw away vegetables after the lunch rush, while reading the musings of a crazy person about a team we both love.  It's a sickness.  Sunday was the cure.

Losing sucks.  It wears you down.  It smooths your jagged edges. It's all dark clouds and endless traffic.  But not this effing week!   Is this win over Dallas going to turn the entire season around, and become the catalyst for some kind of Disney movie Super Bowl run?  I don't know.  And, neither do you.  Nor does Aaron Rodgers or Matt LaFleur.  As Aaron would say, "it's a beautiful mystery".  But this win does give us hope.  And, hope is dangerous.  Hope is a four-letter word.  It has launched political careers.  It has started wars.  It's also why we get out of bed in the morning.  We hope our kids do better than we did.  We hope our friends and family are safe.  We hope for good fortune. Hope--It's kinda important.  Without it, we are hopeless.  Last week in Detroit, with the world perched atop our shoulders like an 800-pound seagull who just consumed an entire bag of expired bran muffins at the local dump, we were hopeless.  Not today.  How do you eat an elephant, dear reader?  One bite at a time.  And, that first bite was delicious.  (Feel free to insert your own Mike McCarthy/elephant joke here).

So grab a cold one, and let's relive the glory of this instant Packers classic, and try to find four things from this Green Bay victory that Packers fans worldwide can all agree upon.

• Agreement #1--It's Good To See The Team Smiling Again.

I don't know if you caught Matt LaFleur's locker room speech on Sunday, immediately following the game.  It was awesome.  Matt is about as comfortable showing his emotions as I am doing Pilates.  Seeing his impeccably manicured facade crack, if even for a second, revealed the pain, frustration, and angst that this dude has gone through over the last five weeks.  Witnessing the toll this five-game slide took on the fans pales in comparison to what was going on inside 1265 Lombardi for the entire month of October.  That's what made this win so cathartic.  Seeing your kids after a day at work is nice.  Seeing your kids after a week-long business trip is life-affirming.

 It was so exhilarating to see Christian Watson shake off the monkey from his back that has plagued him since that Week One drop against Minnesota.  To see Aaron Rodgers bounce back after one of the darkest weeks in his storied eighteen-year career was extra gratifying.  His comments from the post-game podium echoed this gratification.  Matt LaFleur mentioned just wanting to see the team get back to enjoying the game a few weeks back.  Well, he finally got his wish--the guys looked like they were having an absolute ball after Mason Crosby's 23-yarder in overtime.  

That is the thing about winning.  It's like a drug.  Once you get a taste for it, you crave it.  You get greedy for it.   This team had an enormous amount of expectations heaped on them to begin the year.  That weight may have dragged them down for the first few months, and felt extra-onerous as they struggled to find their footing in this 2022 season.  You can only imagine the liberation this young team must feel to look in the mirror and see what the entire country expected them to look like going into week one.  Now, you just have to hope this team is littered with some real junkies.  People who will do anything to get that high again.  Chasing the dragon-like Chris Rock in New Jack City.  Greedy bastards.  After all, greed is good.

• Agreement #2--The Crowd Is Wise

I have said it.  CheeseheadTV owner and Carry The G proprietor Aaron Nagler has said it.  Andy Herman has said it.  Hell, if you live in the Greater Central Wisconsin region and have a particularly chatty mail carrier, they have probably said it.  Everyone and their goshdarned sister have implored Matt LaFleur and this Packer's offensive brain trust to RUN THE DAMN BALL.  They finally, after months of our frustrated pleas falling on deaf ears, acquiesced and ran the ball 37 glorious times, for a game-changing 203 yards.  For Packers fans, seeing LaFleur FINALLY commit to the run was like being a teenager and finding your buddy's dad's old Playboy stash.  It was exciting.  It was unexpected.  It was transcendent.  

No one will ever know why Matt LaFleur opted to neuter his two best offensive options for the first few months of this 2022 season.  All we need to know now is that he has learned from his mistakes.  This is the path.  Any hope for a Packers playoff push will directly correlate to how closely Matt and Co. cleave to this newfound attack.  It worked exactly as we had all hoped it would, too.  The reliance on Dillon and Jones took a chunk of the pressure off of Rodgers, and, instead of asking him to make 35 amazing throws this week, the offense only required 14 miracles to spring forth from Aaron's right arm.  I know going heavy run game flies in the face of what Matt and Aaron think offensive football is, but, these are the ingredients the front office has provided.  You can't make a cake if you don't have eggs.  Our eggs got traded to Las Vegas in March.  But, you can make Rice Krispy treats.  And, Rice Krispy treats can be just as delicious.

If you listened closely over the last several weeks, you may have heard a chorus growing.  No, it wasn't Christmas music (it's too damn early for Christmas music). It was the chorus singing praises of swapping out underperforming Darnell Savage for muscle-bound special teams half human-half demon standout Rudy Ford.   Joe Barry obliged on Sunday, and, saying that switch worked out is like saying the Louisiana Purchase worked out for America.  Rudy Ford grabbed two interceptions, made a bevy of key tackles, and was around the ball about as much as my daughter is around her iPad.  Yet another example that maybe, just maybe, fans know what they are talking about.  That the hours of thought and consideration that fans invest into a team's success are not spent in vain.  For one week, we, the eternally online Packers fan, all looked like football geniuses.  

• Agreement #3--We Need A New Punt Returner

I am sure Amari Rodgers is a nice kid.  I am sure he has parents who love him, and siblings and friends who enjoy his company.  None of what I am about to say is meant to demean his character nor besmirch his talents outside of the football field.  Just want to throw that out there.  With that being said, Great Caesar's Ghost, why in the living hell is this guy still returning punts for this Packers team?  This Sunday, he fumbled his fourth punt of the year.  10 games.  4 fumbled punts.  It's astounding to be so bad at something.  The only explanation for his continued shittiness being allowed to manifest itself week after week is perhaps Amari has incriminating photos of Rich Bisaccia. That's the only thing that could even possibly make this make sense.  And, the photos would have to be REALLY bad.

The most confusing aspect of Amari's repeated failings is the dearth of talent he has as a punt returner.  If this dude was playing like Devin Hester in 2007, I could see the Packers turning a blind eye to the occasional drop.  But, he's not in the same league as Devin Hester.  Hell, he isn't even in the same sport as Devin Hester.  Aside from his extremely questionable hands, Rodgers lacks suddenness at the point of reception.  He isn't particularly fast.  He hasn't shown any shiftiness.  He doesn't seem to have the vision that top returners tend to exhibit.  He isn't big.  He isn't strong.  In short, Amari Rodgers is about as qualified to return punts as Stevie Wonder is to teach Driver's Ed.  

I don't care if we put Kaisean Nixon back there.  Or, Randall Cobb.  Or, the statue of Vince Lombardi.  Or, an inanimate steel rod.  It doesn't matter who/what is back there to return punts--they can't possibly be worse at it than Amari Rodgers.  Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

(Editor's Note--This article was written on Tuesday morning before the Green Bay Packers released Amari Rodgers.  The author, as well as the ownership team of Cheesehead TV, want to thank Amari Rodgers for his year and a half of diligent service with the Packers and wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors!)

(Further Editor's Note--Thank You, God!)

• Agreement #4--The Offensive Line Is Showing Signs Of Life

I originally titled this segment "The Offensive Line Is Coming Together".  Something about that just didn't sound right.  Listen, I am not saying the line was perfect (they weren't).  But, I am here to point out how nice it was to see something vaguely resembling the offensive lines of yore.  I know David Bakhtiari is one awkward step up a ladder away from missing three weeks.  And, no, Elgton Jenkins is not back to his pre-injury self.  Yet.  This week was the best the line has looked in 2022.  They consistently opened up running lanes against one of the more aggressive defenses in the NFL.  And, although Rodgers only dropped back 20 times to pass, they, by and large, provided him with ample time to survey the field and make the correct read.  

Offensive lines are all about cohesion.  It's all about footwork, hand placement, and synchronization.  It's ballet, but with 325 men who prefer to eat their steaks while they are still attached to the cow, and throw down 16-ounce beers like regular people toss back sacrament cups.  The first two months of this season were pockmarked with ever-changing offensive line arrangements, injuries, reinjuries, and chronic inconsistency.  The last three weeks have been static.  And, it is showing.

You take away Rodgers's unfortunate rash of interceptions against Detroit, and you could make a compelling case that the last three weeks have been the most consistent offensive football this Packers squad has played all year.  I don't think it is a coincidence that this rebirth is occurring just as the line is rounding into shape.  For all of his God-given ability, Aaron Rodgers has enjoyed something a little less celestial over his nearly two-decade career--consistently excellent offensive lines.  Seeing him struggle behind a subpar unit was jarring.  As he begins to trust his protection a little more, I think this Green Bay attack is gearing up for a cleaner home stretch.

• Catching Strays

Did anybody else see Mike Perreira's tongue video this weekend?  Somebody at Fox needs to throw a flag on that (and for the love of God, no replay please).  From the Olsen Sweat Cam in Week 3 to whatever the hell that was.  It is unclear who has won this terrible game of announcing musical chairs that we experienced last offseason, but Fox has definitely lost.

Brian Gutekunst's 2021 draft class is starting to look like a Perkins menu at 5 PM--unappetizing.

Do you think if Green Bay could have a do-over, they would have taken their bye after London?  

Does Mike McCarthy hate the troops or does Nike just not make Veteran's Day gear in his size?  Inquiring minds want to know!!!

Is there a better jersey match-up in all of sports than Green Bay's home jerseys versus Dallas's road jerseys?

Allow me to be the first to wish you and yours the merriest of Christmases and the happiest of holiday seasons!!!

GO PACK GO!!!